Never Again

We’re all motivated towards our personal goals of achievement by various forces, and sometimes we’re motivated to goals by driving ourselves away from our own shortcomings, failures, or pains. We find ourselves in a situation where we are hurt, or embarrassed, or fearful and we pledge to ourselves – NEVER AGAIN!

As any good martial arts program, we spend some time each class building strength through that time honored and beloved exercise call the push up (or press up for our European friends).  We have recently set a goal for our students to reach 100 pushups in a set.  For many it becomes a point of failure as their body give out before they’ve reached their goal.  While I encourage them to do their very best to maintain good mechanics and finish as many as they can, I stress the importance of diligent practice at home one a regular basis.  

I often share this story with my students during training. Back when I was a young stud of a black belt (ok fine – I was young). I sat proudly atop the food chain in our dojo, just behind my Sensei and his wife. I had a prominent position in both my reputation and my physical location on the floor; Right in front where everyone could see.  Then it all began one week, when our of our junior-senior black belts (junior in rank senior in age) Tom asked if he could lead the warm ups.  Tom was nearly 60 at the time, a retire Police lieutenant and a rock of a man. As it was he had recently accepted a position with the Buffalo & Erie County Police academy as a trainer. He got down and began rolling off pushups. To my utter embarrassment, when he didn’t stop at the first twenty I began to struggle, during the next ten I presumed were our last ten I shuddered and shook to finish  even going as far to “attend” my chronically injured shoulder (it had a convenient habit of hurting during these times).  I felt that I fell in stature that evening.  In retrospect, I doubt many people even noticed as they struggled on their own. However, this was a “never again” moment for me. It motivated me to begin a regimen of daily push-ups so that I wouldn’t “look bad” again. My motivation may have been flawed or even vain, but it moved me to do something important.

Perhaps you “Never Again” moment came as a result of a near tragic experience or some abuse, maybe you came close to losing your home due to financial mismanagement, or got stopped for a DUI.  Whatever your Never Again was or still is. It’s worth paying the dues to make sure that it never happens again.  

The beauty of these Not Again moments is that they stand behind and cast backlight on our lesser and often ego based goals and can inspire us to measure and weigh what it is we believe is important against a new standard.

Perhaps you failed an exam and said “Never Again” and your priorities of spending more time with your friends or making the soccer team seem much less important. Maybe a loved one died and thoughts of your own eternity became a priority over which college you attend or improving your jump shot.  No matter, open your eyes to what’s important for your life and set your priorities based on that. Never again, Only God knows when your last chance will be to meet your goals and whether they fit in the grand plan for your life.

Kozushi 101

Like so many things in our lives we have all the greatest intentions of doing amazing things when we begin, and so quickly and easily get side tracked as the day, the week, the month drag on and new shiny things catch our eyes. Its my hope that this blog will be one of the many projects that get started and then sit dust covered and incomplete in the middle of my dojo.

Initially this blog was to be called Mushin (no mindedness) as it reflected the empying of one's mind with purpose to acheive something better... but like so many projects as well... there are many trips back to the drawing board. The renaming of Kozushi (unbalance) was pivotal as this has been a source of strength and weakness in my life like so many people and each feeds the other. Above the physical seeking of balance, there is the balance of career, family, God, and activities... among a invariably longer or shorter lists for each person. I could bore any given person with the minutia of what that entails, but since we're talkng about balance no one should be spending that much time reading this blog when there are so many more things to do instead.

When its boiled down to its barest point, balance is reliant on the existence, position, and focus on a center point. When we speak of physical balance we often refer to our "center of gravity" COG this is an imaginary axis which runs through our middle between our various points of balance control (Head, Shoulders, Hips & Knees) and based on their relative position will determine where our COG is and what we can do with it. If my weight his shifted forward moving my COG toward my lead leg this restricts my ability to kick from that leg or to retreat, but benefits my use of hands. Conversely if I shift to the reverse (rear) side I gain my defensive front leg and my ability to side step and retreat but lose the power of my punch and kick.

The balance of our lives is like this as well, difficult enough with two legs, can you imagine having 4 or even 7 legs to coordinate. However, the most inportant aspect here is where or more to the point what is our center? Your career? Money? Your family? God? However, some COGs in our spiritual and mental lives are not nearly strong enough to be that center. How long will your career last? 30year? 40 ? How about your health? How long will your children be dependent on you to be the center of their lives.

I've been asked so many times how do I maintain that balance... and time and time again, I'm floored by the fact that people can't see me trying to juggle balls and ride a unicycle... The only time I feel balanced is when I place my COG the right place and rely on it so help keep me solid.