Never Again

We’re all motivated towards our personal goals of achievement by various forces, and sometimes we’re motivated to goals by driving ourselves away from our own shortcomings, failures, or pains. We find ourselves in a situation where we are hurt, or embarrassed, or fearful and we pledge to ourselves – NEVER AGAIN!

As any good martial arts program, we spend some time each class building strength through that time honored and beloved exercise call the push up (or press up for our European friends).  We have recently set a goal for our students to reach 100 pushups in a set.  For many it becomes a point of failure as their body give out before they’ve reached their goal.  While I encourage them to do their very best to maintain good mechanics and finish as many as they can, I stress the importance of diligent practice at home one a regular basis.  

I often share this story with my students during training. Back when I was a young stud of a black belt (ok fine – I was young). I sat proudly atop the food chain in our dojo, just behind my Sensei and his wife. I had a prominent position in both my reputation and my physical location on the floor; Right in front where everyone could see.  Then it all began one week, when our of our junior-senior black belts (junior in rank senior in age) Tom asked if he could lead the warm ups.  Tom was nearly 60 at the time, a retire Police lieutenant and a rock of a man. As it was he had recently accepted a position with the Buffalo & Erie County Police academy as a trainer. He got down and began rolling off pushups. To my utter embarrassment, when he didn’t stop at the first twenty I began to struggle, during the next ten I presumed were our last ten I shuddered and shook to finish  even going as far to “attend” my chronically injured shoulder (it had a convenient habit of hurting during these times).  I felt that I fell in stature that evening.  In retrospect, I doubt many people even noticed as they struggled on their own. However, this was a “never again” moment for me. It motivated me to begin a regimen of daily push-ups so that I wouldn’t “look bad” again. My motivation may have been flawed or even vain, but it moved me to do something important.

Perhaps you “Never Again” moment came as a result of a near tragic experience or some abuse, maybe you came close to losing your home due to financial mismanagement, or got stopped for a DUI.  Whatever your Never Again was or still is. It’s worth paying the dues to make sure that it never happens again.  

The beauty of these Not Again moments is that they stand behind and cast backlight on our lesser and often ego based goals and can inspire us to measure and weigh what it is we believe is important against a new standard.

Perhaps you failed an exam and said “Never Again” and your priorities of spending more time with your friends or making the soccer team seem much less important. Maybe a loved one died and thoughts of your own eternity became a priority over which college you attend or improving your jump shot.  No matter, open your eyes to what’s important for your life and set your priorities based on that. Never again, Only God knows when your last chance will be to meet your goals and whether they fit in the grand plan for your life.